
Dear Santa,
It took you thirty years, but thank you for remembering me. It was a lovely violin, and the microscope was nice, but it’s nothing compared to what I have now.
Thank you so much.
From,
Sherlock Holmes
Age 35
Dear Santa,
I know I’m too old to write to you, and it’s probably pathetic to even write to someone who doesn’t exist in the first place. I don’t want you to send me anything. I don’t deserve it. But what I do want you to do is to make an old friend happy. I don’t care what you give him; I just want him to make it through this Christmas.
Please.
From,
Sherlock Holmes
WHY
GEE THANKS FOR TURNING SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL INTO SOMETHING SOUL-CRUSHINGLY PAINFUL
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